During this holiday season, many find themselves without someone to enjoy the festivities with. Options are endless; there are parties galore and various opportunities for cozy times with that special someone. There are many opportunities at hand for those that are single to date or attend singles events. This brings us to the subject of “expectations”. As I have mentioned in previous blogs the dating process is not for the faint of heart. It is important to go into this arena with the right attitude. I have heard so many horror stories from friends, family, and acquaintances of the trials and tribulations of dating. (Especially internet dating!) In order to travel this treacherous and yet wonderful path of meeting and greeting, which can be both exciting and nerve-racking, one must enter the entire process with the right attitude.
Let’s start with internet dating. This process certainly begins with expectations. I was talking to a male friend of mine the other evening and he had a particularly “on the mark view” of how this dating drill needs to go. From this perceptive male’s point of view, too many people begin the process with expectations that lead them down the slippery hill into dating hell. He believes that if you spend more time than two phone conversations before you actually meet, that you then fall into the “jaws of the false expectations pit” by building up in your mind a fantasy person. Although internet photos are exchanged and some of your deepest, darkest secrets are exposed to one another, you still have no clue who you are really dealing with until you meet face to face. My male friend’s answer to this “false expectation” dilemma is that one must absolutely meet if not for anything more than a cup of coffee and a half hour of each others time by the end of the second phone conversation.
Another dilemma that has been reported by both men and women is of long distance relationships, where one or both partners travel to see each other. In reporting a recent experience by a female friend of mine, she states that: a man flew in from Timbuktu, Alaska (all names and places are changed to protect identities) for a twenty four hour period to meet her. By the end of the evening, to her dismay, she realized that this man’s “expectations” were that of a roll in the hay with sprinkles on top. To his dismay, no exotic holiday cupcakes on the menu that evening. The evening will go down in history as one of her most distasteful dating experiences ever. What were the red flags for dating disaster here? In this case, both parties’ expectations failed. She was expecting a well-educated gentleman; he was expecting a POA (piece of ass).
So the lessons of love and internet dating, blind dating, or hooking up during the holidays is to put it out there “who you really are, what you want, and where you’re willing to go in the entire dating process.” As long as you know that you have truthfully posted recent (within the last 6 months) photos, i.e via webcam, text message, or snail mail… (both parties please…), are within a few years of your actual age posted online, c’mon most everyone fibs by a few years ….and don’t have a current or ex-lover in the trunk of your car or in the closet at home you should find yourself on a fair playing field of the dating process. Take the time to read and see the road signs ahead, and you should be able to enjoy this wonderful season with a date or two that won’t end up in the Guinness Book of Records for worst holiday date ever.
