www.bocatherapy.com love, relationship, Valentines Day 2009
Litany
You are the bread and the knife,The crystal goblet and the wine…-Jacques Crickillon
You are the bread and the knife,the crystal goblet and the wine.You are the dew on the morning grassand the burning wheel of the sun.You are the white apron of the baker,and the marsh birds suddenly in flight. However, you are not the wind in the orchard,the plums on the counter,or the house of cards. And you are certainly not the pine-scented air.There is just no way that you are the pine-scented air.
It is possible that you are the fish under the bridge,maybe even the pigeon on the general’s head,but you are not even closeto being the field of cornflowers at dusk. And a quick look in the mirror will showthat you are neither the boots in the cornernor the boat asleep in its boathouse.
It might interest you to know,speaking of the plentiful imagery of the world,that I am the sound of rain on the roof. I also happen to be the shooting star,the evening paper blowing down an alleyand the basket of chestnuts on the kitchen table.
I am also the moon in the treesand the blind woman’s tea cup.But don’t worry, I’m not the bread and the knife.You are still the bread and the knife.You will always be the bread and the knife,not to mention the crystal goblet and–somehow–the wine.
Personal note: Thank you Donn for the beautiful poem on this Valentines Day.
It’s that time of year again when all is ok with the world and we are all in love! Valentines Day is coming!!!! All of our romantic dreams will come true! Our lovers will understand us, hear our deepest thoughts, validate our existence in this crazy world and love us deeply until the end of eternity. Arrrgghhhhh! REALITY CHECK: Our nation is in crisis, yet we are trying to make sense of it all. Lovers and couples have much more on their plates than simply attending to daily issues of their marriages, partnerships and relationships. Marriages and relationships are in trouble more than ever now. Fear of losing everything we’ve ever worked for, insecurity of not being able to provide for your family, and the resulting behaviors of arguing non-stop are all taking their toll on relationships~ Homes, jobs and even our relationships are at stake in this economy. These economic issues are spilling over onto our dinner tables, and seeping into our bedrooms. These changes in the world are affecting our personal lives more than we realize. It is impossible to live in this world without confronting stressors in our daily lives. However, everyone has a breaking point, a place somewhere on the continuum of life where ‘overload’ occurs and you “just can’t take it anymore.” This is the statement heard most often in my therapy office the past few months. We are satiated, overwhelmed by financial issues, arguments over paying the bills, the pulling apart and separation of the “coupledom” of the relationship. Where is the romantic partnership that we thought we had? What happened to that man/woman that we fell in love with so long ago? Doesn’t he/she love me anymore? Am I still attractive to my partner, don’t they desire me anymore? “We’ve been together for 5….10……20….years and the spark is just not there any longer” these are the greatest concerns of men and women in relationship today. This month I am featured in the cover story of Boca Magazine’s February 2009 issue- “15 Ways To Say I Love You.” I speak of ways to “Spice It Up” in relationship. Most importantly is the fact that “couples must realize that romance is an absolute. You have to re-create the relationship on a daily basis. Yes, it’s work. But so is getting dressed in the morning and making breakfast.” Relationship is work. It requires no less than the effort one puts into their job, their hobbies, themselves. To love another requires committment to recognizing their uniqueness. Love is not about creating a clone of yourself and expecting your partner to be exactly like you. Lastly, love is not simply a feeling. Not the lust you first felt in the first few weeks of dating. Rather, LOVE is a decision, an action in understanding and caring for your partners, emotions , likes and dislikes and most importantly your partners needs….”see me…feel me….touch me”…….HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
