Drarlenekrieger’s Weblog

The Mancode: Laws of Attraction For Loving a Woman

Posted by: admin in www.bocatherapy.com, women and dating, West Palm Beach sex therapist, Palm beach sex therapist, men and dating, finding the right woman, finding the right guy, dating and internet dating, boca raton sex therapist on May 26, 2009  

 Some men are just oblivious and others simply seem to  just get it and understand  what we women are all about!  It is a well known fact that the sexes are altogether different creatures.  So hold on to your Iphone and take careful notes here guys!

 Women in general like acknowledgment and loving affection, a person withwhom they can connect, relate to and most important of all, a person they can trust. We also need our men to be able to “Communicate.” Yes I know, that is such a tricky term of art for men to grasp, so I’ll make it simple and break it down for you guys.

Women want to be able to discuss their life, their dreams, their hopes and fears. For every secret they tell you, they want you to tell them four more. Hopefully by the time you’ve dated for at least a month, women want to be able to feel the “we” of the relationship, which means that you would be using what I call “future talk” with one another.

This includes talk on the man’s part of wanting to include the woman in his life to some capacity, i.e. introducing her to his friends, remembering specifics of her career, being spontaneous, wanting to surprise and please her, talk of future plans together for the holidays, summer vacations, in other words, letting your woman know that you can actually see a possible future for the two of  you somewhere down the road! ( Im not talking about running off  to get married at the the Elvis Chapel on the 5th date)

 Although women can seem mysterious, they will show you what it feels like to be truly loved, as long as you’re willing and able to accept the responsibility of a true and loving relationship.  It is up to you, the man to show them  that you and your feelings for her are real, and mean it! Your words must always be your honor. No excuses or sad stories for why you forget to call them on Saturday nights or are too tied up with your own life demands to find the time to pursue them  ( no matter how hard it may be for you at times) with the desire of a man in love!

 Compassion and understanding are also big on the list of Do’s. Women like a man that is compassionate and understanding, someone who shows that he genuinely cares. It is important for a woman in this 21st century to be able to speak her mind without being considered to be “trouble” or a “princess”….respect for your woman’s thoughts and opinions matter. Recognize her intelligence and strong points.

 Even if you don’t agree with her, find good points from both perspectives and learn to communicate. It is of utmost import for her to know that she is seen as a total and whole person in your eyes. Never cut her down or tell her she would be so much more beautiful ( or look 10 years younger)  if only she would ; i.e. get her breasts enlarged or go blond! Find something unique her that no one has ever told her about before, and mean it. Women will see right through anything that is not authentic.

Hope these few tips for getting the girl that you deserve have helped! Just remember, you’ve gotta be the guy that she deserves and no less!!!!!

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 Dr. Arlene G. Krieger is  Clinical Sexologist with a private practice in Boca Raton, Florida. She is currently working on her new book, The Simple Sex Guide, due out this coming Fall.

In this article the pros and cons of Internet dating plus the advantages of “Ye Old Fashioned” dating will be discussed. As in everything else in life there is good and bad to most everything, yet internet dating has its very own and unique pitfalls that you absolutely need to be aware of!

It is reported that ”You’re now more likely to find your true love on the internet than at work or at a party, in the US at least – especially if you’re over 45.”

That comment was made in an article about an online survey of over 10,000  people  aged between 20 and 54 who got married in the USA between 1 April 2006 and 31 March 2007, conducted by Harris Interactive for  an online matchmaking service which claims to use scientific methods to work out compatibility.

The survey was of course meant to highlight how many couples who got married met via eHarmony, but the New Scientist article mentions more generally statistics (presumably based on the full report, which hasn’t been made available publicly) showing that, of the couples surveyed:

• 19% met online (compared with 14 % in a previous similar survey of marriages between 2004 and 2005)
• 17% met at work (down from 20%)
• 17% met through friends (unchanged).

31% of the married couples aged 45 – 54 met online, compared with 18% of 20 – 44-year-olds who did, suggesting (which I think makes sense) that younger people have more ways than older people to meet potential partners, e.g. through college.

But still, that’s a decent percentage of couples of any age marrying who met online. So though there’s absolutely no shame in being on dating sites or looking for relationships online. 

Now, to the issues of  absolute importance that you all need to understand as to the RULES FOR INTERNET DATING, which include how to navigate through the rough waters and know how to “date safely”. Yes, thats correct, there are dangers to the internet dating scene that you must be aware of.

The Cons of Internet Dating:

When discussed among peers there are manyof not knowing who you are really meeting that concern women and men in this social arena. Meeting the person out of context, meaning not in their “normal” social setting (such as a person you work with) persons being able to hide behind the screen of the internet, persons re-creating their identity, placing false pictures online, or at worst, the person you’re meeting is simply off the wall as far as basic social norms (i.e. being insulted, racist remarks, rude and aggresive or undermining verbal abuse), which can put you at risk of harm without knowing the basics of being safe on an internet date.

The Rules:

1. Meet at a local public meeting place

2. Never, be picked up for a first Internet date at your home, or get into his/her car.

3. Ask some basic questions of your date pertaining to their history, where they used to live, i.e city, job history, family, etc.

4. Listen for language that appears to come from left field, if you feel, insulted, degraded or that urge to leave, do so!!! Always pay attention to your gut instinct!

These are the four basic rules of being safe in Internet dating! Don’t be foolish and simply assume that the guy/girl is OK based on a few phone conversations that you may have had.

The Pros of Internet Dating:

Yes, its true that Internet dating can be a candy store for both men and women.  For many, once you’ve placed your personal profile on most any of the available Internet dating sites, the emails start rolling in, sometimes in the hundreds! This is often overwhelming for many, and hard to choose wisely when flooded with so many requests to meet. However, meet they do.

For most interviewed, it is reported that for the most part, the dates end up to be duds. Either there is no chemistry or something else seems to be amiss. On the pro side however, many have met and married from meet and greets initiated on the internet dating sites. As I’ve always said, dating is not for the faint of heart. In order to meet or find that one special person, you may indeed have to kiss a lot of frogs/ (frog princes or princesses)! The mere numbers provide for abundant opportunities to meet your mate! Just remember, date safely and enjoy!

Dr. Arlene Krieger is in private practice in Boca Raton, Florida @ www.Bocatherapy.com ,  and specializes in Sexuality and Intimacy issues as a Ph.D. Clinical Sexologist. She is currently working on the book, The Simple Sex Guide, due out this fall.

This is a re-print of an article from Cosmopolitan Magazine which is featured this week on your Match.com homepage under the “Dating and Advice” section. Dr. Arlene G. Krieger is interviewed by Cosmopolitan Magazine regarding issues of : When and When Not To Text Your Guy! Rules and guidelines to live by! Find the full article  on your Match.com Homepage!