In this article the pros and cons of Internet dating plus the advantages of “Ye Old Fashioned” dating will be discussed. As in everything else in life there is good and bad to most everything, yet internet dating has its very own and unique pitfalls that you absolutely need to be aware of!

It is reported that ”You’re now more likely to find your true love on the internet than at work or at a party, in the US at least – especially if you’re over 45.”

That comment was made in an article about an online survey of over 10,000  people  aged between 20 and 54 who got married in the USA between 1 April 2006 and 31 March 2007, conducted by Harris Interactive for  an online matchmaking service which claims to use scientific methods to work out compatibility.

The survey was of course meant to highlight how many couples who got married met via eHarmony, but the New Scientist article mentions more generally statistics (presumably based on the full report, which hasn’t been made available publicly) showing that, of the couples surveyed:

  • 19% met online (compared with 14 % in a previous similar survey of marriages between 2004 and 2005)
  • 17% met at work (down from 20%)
  • 17% met through friends (unchanged).

31% of the married couples aged 45 – 54 met online, compared with 18% of 20 – 44-year-olds who did, suggesting (which I think makes sense) that younger people have more ways than older people to meet potential partners, e.g. through college.

But still, that’s a decent percentage of couples of any age marrying who met online. So though there’s absolutely no shame in being on dating sites or looking for relationships online. 

Now, to the issues of  absolute importance that you all need to understand as to the RULES FOR INTERNET DATING, which include how to navigate through the rough waters and know how to “date safely”. Yes, thats correct, there are dangers to the internet dating scene that you must be aware of.

The Cons of Internet Dating:

When discussed among peers there are manyof not knowing who you are really meeting that concern women and men in this social arena. Meeting the person out of context, meaning not in their “normal” social setting (such as a person you work with) persons being able to hide behind the screen of the internet, persons re-creating their identity, placing false pictures online, or at worst, the person you’re meeting is simply off the wall as far as basic social norms (i.e. being insulted, racist remarks, rude and aggresive or undermining verbal abuse), which can put you at risk of harm without knowing the basics of being safe on an internet date.

The Rules:

1. Meet at a local public meeting place

2. Never, be picked up for a first Internet date at your home, or get into his/her car.

3. Ask some basic questions of your date pertaining to their history, where they used to live, i.e city, job history, family, etc.

4. Listen for language that appears to come from left field, if you feel, insulted, degraded or that urge to leave, do so!!! Always pay attention to your gut instinct!

These are the four basic rules of being safe in Internet dating! Don’t be foolish and simply assume that the guy/girl is OK based on a few phone conversations that you may have had.

The Pros of Internet Dating:

Yes, its true that Internet dating can be a candy store for both men and women.  For many, once you’ve placed your personal profile on most any of the available Internet dating sites, the emails start rolling in, sometimes in the hundreds! This is often overwhelming for many, and hard to choose wisely when flooded with so many requests to meet. However, meet they do.

For most interviewed, it is reported that for the most part, the dates end up to be duds. Either there is no chemistry or something else seems to be amiss. On the pro side however, many have met and married from meet and greets initiated on the internet dating sites. As I’ve always said, dating is not for the faint of heart. In order to meet or find that one special person, you may indeed have to kiss a lot of frogs/ (frog princes or princesses)! The mere numbers provide for abundant opportunities to meet your mate! Just remember, date safely and enjoy!

 

Dr. Arlene Krieger is in private practice in Boca Raton, Florida @ www.Bocatherapy.com ,  and specializes in Sexuality and Intimacy issues as a Ph.D. Clinical Sexologist. She is currently working on the book, The Simple Sex Guide, due out this fall.